In friendship, people often send funny or teasing insult quotes to their friends. It’s fun to make your friends laugh with these messages. If you want to send some playful insult quotes to your friends, this is the right place.
Here you can find a collection of the best insult quotes and messages to joke with your friends. Please scroll down to see our list and have fun sharing these funny insults!
Also check: Moving On Quotes
Insults Quotes
1. Though two heads are better than one but not when one of the head is yours.
2. I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
3. Scientists are trying to figure out how long human can live without a brain. You can tell them your age.
4. Your mother is so masculine that your father had to give you birth.
5. If dignity was money, you could maybe buy a soda.
6. You are so annoying; I hate the way your voice sounds like screeching tires on a traffic.
7. Don’t tell me you’re innocent, because that insults my intelligence, and that doesn’t amuse me.
8. Your intelligence is my common sense.
9. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
10. Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
11. No need for insults, your face says it all.
12. Some think I wink at them when I shut my eyes to avoid their sight.
13. You may think that I am joking but I am actually serious when I said that I do not like you.
14. You know why you hate me so much, Jeffery? Because I look the way you feel.
15. To be honest with you, let me tell you just how much I do not care on anything about you.
16. You’re so ugly that when you cry, the tears roll down the back of your head…just to avoid your face.
17. It d be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further than the next wisecrack.
18. You speak an infinite deal of nothing.
19. Wow! You have a huge pimple in between your shoulders! Oh wait that’s your face.
20. I have nothing but respect for you — and not much of that.
Insulting Quotes for Whatsapp
21. The only reason some people get lost in thought is that its unfamiliar territory.
22. Insulting others is never a way of correcting them. Instead, it causes more damage and proves that we need to help ourselves.
23. All day I thought of you….I was at the zoo.
24. You will find that silence or very gentle words are the most exquisite revenge for the insult.
25. I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
26. If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn’t say Hi to folk, I’d say BOO!
27. I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.
28. It’s not that you are weird…it’s just that everyone else is normal.
29. Never insult anyone by accident.
30. Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone.
31. The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.
32. A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence.
33. There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble.
34. To be insulted by you is to be garlanded with lilies.
35. I am not young enough to know everything.
36. You should learn from your parents mistakes – try using some birth control.
37. I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
38. You will find a girl prettier than me, smarter than me, and funnier than me, but you will never find a girl just like me.
39. They lie deadly that tell you you have good faces.
40. Never insult an alligator until you’ve crossed the river.
Insulting Quotes Images
41. There is no more mercy in him than there is milk in a male tiger.
42. You know most days when I look in a mirror I feel ugly, but when I look at you I feel lucky.
43. You had measured how long a fool you were upon the ground.
44. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.
45. You’re so much smarter when you don’t speak!
46. He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
47. I hold it to be a proof of great prudence for men to abstain from threats and insulting words toward anyone, for neither diminishes the strength of the enemy.
48. Your village just called. They’re missing an idiot.
49. You’re very beautiful, no doubt about that but I’ll still rate a monkey ahead of you.
50. I’m sorry, I’m a little busy. Can I ignore you later?
51. If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.
52. The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer.
53. He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
54. Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case they’re nothing.
55. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
56. I can resist everything except temptation.
57. I am not aware of how you succeed politically when you insult women, who far more than men consistently provide you with great margins of support.
58. A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.
59. The best way to receive insults is to submit to them. If the man respects, he will be respected.
60. Each of us carries within himself a collection of instant insults.
Insult Quotes for Facebook
61. I love it when someone insults me. That means that I don’t have to be nice anymore.
62. Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong.
63. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
64. There’s a difference between an actual insult and a friendly jab. So I don’t think I’m offensive onstage.
65. You insult me: I can handle it. You insult my best friend: I’m going to break your face.
66. Your age doesn’t lie. Neither does that face.
67. An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult.
68. If anybody dared say wrestling was fake, you’d punch ’em. And you never used the word show. If you used the word shows it was an insult.
69. You’re so much smarter when you don’t speak!
70. My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.
Short Insult Quotes
71. You have something on your chin… no, the third one down.
72. You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.
73. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled.
74. Even evolution seems to take a break sometimes, and you are proof of that.
75. Everyone around you tends to show their silly side when you’re near.
76. There’s something about clouds and you—when you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
77. It seems delusions of adequacy are part of your charm.
78. You’re as useless as the ‘ueue’ in ‘queue’.
79. He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
80. You’re like a software update… whenever I see you, I think ‘do I really need this?’
Also check: Worry Quotes
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